


the missing case of candies

by orphan_account



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 04:04:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11592567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jesse McCree is not one to admit many things… especially when one of those things happens to be his child’s rare, no longer produced candies that he may or may not have eaten and he may or may not have accidentally pinned the blame on Hanzo for.Whoops.





	the missing case of candies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [postcardsfromItaly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/postcardsfromItaly/gifts).



It starts out as any other normal day. Kibou’s out doing… collegey stuff (something Jesse can’t relate to but Hanzo can; he has fought tooth and nail to let his child be able to go to college) and Hanzo’s busy with his own art as well. Painting away pretty in that room of his while Jesse has all the time in the world to himself right now.

No one is contacting him; no Blackwatch or Overwatch, no New Overwatch, nothing. Just him and his time. Yeeeeeears of time. It’s so weird to think that decades have past, and Jesse is as old as Gabe is, probably even older. Having married a stern man, stoic but still trying his damndest to show love… and boy, has Hanzo learned how to show his love.

A smile spreads on Jesse’s face as he wanders around the house. Years of ornaments hang around on the walls and Jesse feels a little old staring at some of the _very_ old ones. Ones from before he is even born… old knick knacks that Hanzo has interest in that he has bought. Many of the companies that have sold these aren’t around anymore.

He heads off to the kitchen, the thoughts of shut down companies in his head reminding him that they still have some of that Pachimari Jello-Peanut Chocos [a weird candy that is somehow harmonious in its taste despite it having no right to be] and Jesse feels a mighty craving for it as he looks through their cupboards.

Every damn time he forgets where the Pachimari Jello-Peanut Chocos (Jesus that’s a mouthful) are and every damn time he can just imagine Hanzo’s reserved voice struggling to not sound amused as he points to where the Jellos are. He finally finds them in the top right cabinet, grabs the packet, and tears it open and begins popping the peanut-chocolate jelly candies into his mouth.

Just as he is finishing up the candies, he looks back at the cabinet again and opens it with his free hand to see whether or not they have more and it hits him, very belatedly, that no. No. They do not. He stares down at the packet in his hands and he can’t help but feel momentarily guilty.

Kibou loves this shit. Hanzo probably has a little more hidden away in his office, right? With that thought in mind, Jesse heads off to Hanzo’s office to see if he can find any more Jellos around. He places the empty packet on Hanzo’s table and looks through his husband’s clean office, making sure to put everything back in place when he can’t find any more of the candies, and Jesse frowns.

Forgetful, he leaves the packet on the table and heads off to search the house for more of the packets just as Kibou comes back home. They shoulder off their backpack, looking so very tired after today – a craving for the Jello-Peanut Chocos rises up in them. They sigh, rub at their eyes, and then make their way over to the kitchen completely exhausted and opens the cabinet…

Only to furrow their brow when they realise there isn’t a packet there. As they look further into the cabinet, they can’t find _any_ more Jellos and a frown settles on their face. They walk around, pass by a rather inquisitive looking Jesse that they don’t bother asking because for all they know, he’s probably trying to figure out where he put his fifth hat (again).

It doesn’t take them long to pass by Hanzo’s open office door and their eyes zone in on the packet just sitting innocuously on the desk. They stare and, without thinking, eventually end up making their way inside of their father’s office. _‘What am I doing here?’_ they think to themself. They just stare at the packet sitting on the desk, silent, taunting them with the fact that they are empty right now and for some reason something in them ticks.

They look around Hanzo’s office, their hands press together and they twiddle their thumbs and they sort of… shift around while they keep staring around. They look back at the empty packet, with its dastardly smiling Pachimari holding up peanuts and chocolates in two different tentacles while several hold up a plate of jello-cake (which has never made sense to them; they aren’t _real_ jello… are they?) and then they look back.

Hanzo’s pens sit simple in a blue cup; all of them are simple, plain, and nothing to really take note of, but they are all _there_ and Kibou can’t control themself. They reach out, snatch all ten [exactly ten!] of their father’s pens and then bolts from the room once the little cup that Hanzo uses to hold his writing utensils is empty and Kibou rushes back to their room.

They breathe heavily, holding the pens to their chest, and they wonder what the fuck has gotten into them. Hanzo doesn’t even _like_ the jellos that much… but the packet is on his desk, empty, and Kibou has just stolen all his father’s pens. Just like that. All of his work pens… and the packet. Why is he feeling such a rush from this? They look at the pens in their hands, stare, and then remember that they have never _once_ lashed out in their entire life…

Perhaps now is fine? They have been good for years. They haven’t caused trouble for their dad and father, ever, and now they just… they’re upset. The jellos are never going to be produced again, and their favourite candy is gone and all. It’s just, they just stole some pens, and Hanzo will always get new ones.

Realising that, Kibou frowns. But they don’t _want_ Hanzo to just get new pens. The frown on their face grows, agitation rising up at the fact that they won’t have their favourite candy but their father, of all people, will still be able to get what they need (they need the candy, okay! It helps them concentrate and get over their stress) and they glare at the pens.

They’re going to have to do their best to get even.

* * *

Jesse has never seen Hanzo this annoyed. He goes to his office, finds that all his pens are missing, and he leaves his office with a big frown on his face because he has a lot, _a lot_ of work to do and all his pens are needed if he wants to write on his tablet. The scowl on Hanzo’s face makes Jesse smile sheepishly as his husband eyes him suspiciously.

“Did you take my pens?” Hanzo asks sharply. Then, before Jesse can answer, “no, you hate writing with a passion… even on a tablet. It can’t have been you. Bah.” just as he leaves, Jesse turns to see Kibou sneaking into Hanzo’s office and leaving with something else in their hands. A box of those really sour snacks that Hanzo likes, the ones that makes Jesse’s mouth pucker like an asshole because of how fucking sour they are.

At the realisation, Jesse clamps his mouth shut and looks away immediately just as Kibou is sneaking out, their arms shaking carrying the large amount of sour snacks that they have, and he has no clue what to do about the fact that their child is stealing from Hanzo and what that even means…

Until he remembers the jello packet that he realises he has left on Hanzo’s desk, and it hits him like a truck driving at max speed what this means. Kibou has found the empty packet and has, very wrongly, assumed that Hanzo is the one who has finished up all the candy without telling them and Jesse starts choking on his own saliva.

Oh holy shit. Oh holy fuck shit. Ass. _Dick._ Laughter bubbles out of him and he has to rush to Hanzo and his bedroom just so that no one hears him laughing as he starts to _lose it._ Holy _shit._ He can’t stop laughing… and he has to clutch at his stomach as the hysterical laughter gets louder and far, far worse. There is so much wrong here, and he has no clue where to start.

One of it has to be the fact that Hanzo has always eaten the jello very begrudgingly, and that their child has gotten it horribly wrong and oh god Jesse really does not know what to think about the fact that Kibou is going to slowly empty out Hanzo’s office of shit until their room is too full to even hold all of Hanzo’s stuff in it.

Jesse’s stomach is genuinely hurting, the laughter not stopping. The missing pens… Kibou, that little scamp; they don’t even… Jesse wheezes, rubs at his eyes to get rid of the tears, and then wonders how he’s going to tell Hanzo that their child is taking all of his stuff… before he remembers that if he tells Hanzo, then he’ll have to tell Kibou that he is one that ate up the last of the candy, and that Jesse will be the one in trouble.

Stopping just before he opens the door, he wonders if he _really_ wants Kibou to redirect their indignant, and misplaced anger from Hanzo over to the rightfully placed anger to Jesse but then he realises that no, _no,_ not really.

So he decides to stay quiet, no matter how silly and guilty he feels about it, and Hanzo doesn’t even know his favourite sour snacks are missing until he goes to work with his new pens and is ready to get one to try and relax. The angry yell of _WHO STOLE MY SNACKS_ echoes throughout the house and Jesse can see Kibou sweating a little, even if it’s too hard to notice with how stoic they look.

Jeez, they may have adopted the little scamp but they really have taken from Hanzo, hasn’t he? All silent and stoic and hard to read. A part of him feels proud… before he then remembers that for all the good stuffs that Kibou has gotten from Hanzo, they have gotten Jesse’s rather petty nature at times and he stiffens up and his lips flatten out.

He may look uncomfortable but the reality is that he’s trying not to laugh at the situation going on. All of this… over _candy._ Kibou really is going the extra mile, and Jesse can’t help but feel even prouder.

 

 

 

As time goes on, Kibou starts to get very creative with their thievery. At first, it’s just small very inconsequential things from Hanzo’s office that later on are found out in the backyard or then put atop cabinets that Hanzo and Jesse both have to get on stepladders to get. Then it starts to turn into Kibou stealing tablets—mostly the ones that Hanzo uses to peruse… stuff on, Jesse doesn’t know what, but the horrified look on Hanzo’s face and the scandalised one on Kibou’s when they check the tablet after they return it tells Jesse he doesn’t want to know.

It is an interesting if not confusing mess to be stuck in and Jesse only witnesses as Kibou steals more and more of Hanzo’s personal tablets. They disappear for weeks on end, those tablets, and Kibou always put them back in places that Jesse and Hanzo don’t expect. They’ll just suddenly get a doorbell ring and Hanzo will go out and find his tablets in the mailbox with no letter or anything attached to them.

The puzzling expression on Hanzo’s face grows, especially when he just holds the tablet in his hands like he can’t believe someone took _this_ tablet of all tablets. “This doesn’t even have anything on it.” Hanzo says, distressed. “None of my work files, they’re just… they’re just…”

Jesse raises his eyebrow. “What’re they, darlin’?”

Hanzo flees. [Later, Jesse goes back to their room to find Hanzo with his tablet on his hand, open on furaffinity with images of dragons doing things that Jesse does not expect Hanzo to be into, and they both make a promise to never mention it again.]

The theft escalates from tablets to kindles; Hanzo has so many ebooks downloaded and installed and all that he has _several,_ and Kibou steals them all and returns them all dressed up in frilly dresses and Jesse wonders who the fuck has the time to make _dresses_ for _kindles._ What kind of friends does Kibou have, Jesse thinks with exasperation, and it is normally Kibou who expresses exasperation at Jesse.

This is starting to get genuinely ridiculously, and he doesn’t know if he’s feeling exasperation because of the fact that Hanzo looks grouchy and glarey twenty-four-seven, or if it’s because of the fact that Kibou looks like an unmovable, impassible statue. This genuinely is _not_ how Kibou normally acts, which is why Hanzo doesn’t even bother suspecting their child.

Instead, he starts calling people and talking to their neighbours. He’s not really mad, per se, just a bit annoyed that he has to keep finding his personal items all over again every damn time because Hanzo is a man of personal _matters and needs_ that Jesse tries his best to attend to, but sometimes all his husband ever wants is some peace and quiet.

Just like Kibou; he sometimes passes by Kibou’s room to find them working on their sculptures. They always look so focused, their gaze intense as they work, and Jesse likes to stop and watch them, silent of course because Kibou doesn’t like being distracted, and just admire the amount of skill their child possesses.

Both the most important people in his world are artists; Hanzo may work hard, constantly busy with his office work, but he paints the most gorgeous scenery, portraits… and Kibou, their pride and joy, is amazing with their sculptures and metal works. Jesse sometimes can’t help but feel envious of their colleagues for being able to work with their child.

Why is it that he is acting so different just because of bunch of candy? Jesse doesn’t ask, doesn’t even bring it up because he doesn’t want to pretend like he even knows. They have been so far gone into this whole mess that Jesse doesn’t even know what to do dissuade all this mischief from happening. Besides, it’s kind of funny to see Hanzo run back and forth like a headless chicken trying to figure out who it is that is stealing all his tablets with his furaffinity pornography on them.

 

[He is _still_ trying not to remember what sort of fictional shit his husband is into.]

Or the fact that his kindles with… Chuck Tingle… ebooks are being stolen and going missing, and Jesse doesn’t even want to know why it is that Hanzo is extremely mortified that those kindles are going missing. Kibou seems to read through them once, judging by their face when Jesse catches them in their room reading through Hanzo’s ebooks and looking taken aback.

This is getting very silly. This constant back and forth battle of theirs, where Hanzo is chasing invisible suspects and Kibou is being petty over candies, is going on for a long time. Jesse wonders who will quit first; Hanzo or Kibou themself because they’re starting to steal the miniature, weird ass statues of famous pop icons sitting on the loo doing a number two.

Hanzo has really weird interests. Why is Kibou still bothering? Their resilience with this whole thing is admirable. Jesse almost wants to clap it to them while also hugging Hanzo close to keep him from ranting again and again about how _priceless and expensive_ those on the loo statues are.

It’s a good thing Kibou returns those statues in a toilet shaped box. No, Jesse doesn’t know where Kibou got it.

Then one day, Hanzo explodes. Genuinely explodes. Jesse actually bolts awake from his nap and finds himself rushing to Hanzo, even though he’s only in his briefs, and skids to a halt when he sees his husband just… staring at something.

Or rather, nothing at all.

His expression looks broken. He looks _genuinely_ heartbroken and Jesse stares at the empty spot, trying to figure out why it is that Hanzo looks upset… until he remembers that that spot, on the dresser in his office that has the small snow globes on them, is the spot where Genji’s handmade wooden sparrow always sits.

Jesse remembers how beautiful that wooden sparrow is. They have painted it themself, that Genji, and has spent a long time carving it up for Hanzo. A gift, something to remember Genji by as they begin to travel the world, alone, while Hanzo mostly spends his time going back and forth between the United States and Canada due to his work demanding him to just go back and forth between those countries.

Kibou has taken the wooden sparrow, Jesse bets, while not knowing the implications of their actions and Hanzo is just staring at the empty spot. That one spot has always been pristine; every day, Hanzo spends time making sure it is clean and free of scratches, and Jesse has to rub the back of his neck when he realises how far he has let this escalate.

So he gathers both Hanzo and Kibou up; his husband looks crestfallen, and Kibou just looks normal… save for their fidgeting hands. “Kibou, hon,” Jesse says, “give your papa his statue back.” Kibou stiffens up. “I know yer upset over yer candies, but that statue is super important to your dad and he needs it back ri’ now.”

Hanzo looks over at Kibou with surprise. “You were stealing my things?” he asks. “Why would you do that!? Don’t you know how private and personal all this is?”

“… I did it because you finished the jello candies.” is their response. Hanzo stays quiet. Then slowly, ever so slowly, like the little girl in the exorcist almost, he turns his head over to Jesse. Kibou follows suit and they both stare.

“… Bye!” is the only thing Jesse says before he is being chased by two _very_ angry family members; the real danger is Hanzo himself, and not Kibou at all.

He should have come clean from the damn start!


End file.
